


A Check An Ass Can't Cash

by Mrs_SimonTam_PHD



Series: Murder Boyfriends [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bondage, Bratty!Lucifer, D/s elements, DA!Michael, Dom!Michael, Gagged!Lucifer, Gags, Handcuffs, I guess that's a tag, Improper Use of Police Officer's Equipment, M/M, Mild aftercare, Orgasm Denial, Police Officer!Lucifer, Scandalized!Raphael, Snarks, Spanking, Spanking With a Baton, all the snark, mentions of safe words, murder boyfriends, sub!Lucifer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-23 07:48:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13783008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_SimonTam_PHD/pseuds/Mrs_SimonTam_PHD
Summary: Lucifer is running his mouth, and finally, he wrote a check his ass couldn't cash in.





	A Check An Ass Can't Cash

**Author's Note:**

> SO @talkmagically and I were talking about Lucifer running his mouth and then just calling Michael "sonny boy" and Michael just SNAPPING in her Murder Boyfriends verse, so she allowed me to write this and post it. Thank you, for letting me play in your little murder boyfriend verse. <3

“Must you be this irritating, all the time?” Michael sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

Most of the DA’s office had gone home for the day, with the exception of Raphael. Michael got to hear a lovely snarkfest between his subordinate and his submissive, which was littered with Lucifer referring to Raphael as a ‘desk gremlin’ and Raphael calling Lucifer ‘boy toy’. 

“Hey, I’m not the one who decided to feed the gremlin after midnight,” Lucifer laughed, holding his hands up in mock defense. The dark blue police uniform hugged his lithe frame well, and Michael’s hands itched to remove it from his body. 

“I don’t make Raphael do anything once he leaves the office,” Michael said, sticking the pen he was using back into the black coffee mug he used as a pen holder. 

“You mean he actually  _ does  _ leave?” Lucifer gasped in horror. “There’s not a futon underneath his desk that he just rolls out when he goes to sleep? A pop up closet in the men’s room where he keeps his clothes?” 

Michael rolled his eyes. “Sometimes I wonder if the precinct doesn’t do that with you,” he said dryly. “Surely then you’ll get your paperwork done.” 

“Paperwork, schmaper work. I’ve got more important things to do,” Lucifer said, waving a hand expansively in the air. “Mostly, making sure that a certain DA gets out of his office. And, preferably, out of his suit.” 

Michael’s face slid into the blank, almost bored expression he gets when he’s about ready to take the baton off of Lucifer’s belt, bend him over, and give him a good thrashing. Not yet. Not until Raphael goes. “Oh?” he said mildly. “There’s plenty of those around. I’m sure they’ll suit you.” 

“Mikey, I’m shocked,” Lucifer said, sitting on Michael’s desk and earning a glare. This didn’t dissuade him, although Michael was not surprised. “You’d be willing to share me?” 

Michael grinned, a dark grin that made his eyes light up wickedly. “Oh no. I wouldn’t. If you’re not careful, you’re going to get a chain on your leg that’s attached to a desk.” 

“Mmm, kinky. If you wanted me as an office cockwarmer you should’ve said something.” 

They could hear Raphael choking on something, obviously listening in.

“Please don’t make my assistant choke,” Michael rolled his eyes and got up, going towards the door to check on Raphael. “Everything okay, Raphael?” 

“ _ No, _ ” Raphael grunted. “I’m going  _ home, away  _ from that degenerate.” 

“Alright, have a safe trip home,” Michael said pleasantly. 

Raphael jabbed a finger at Michael from where he was sliding his suit jacket back on. “You clean up after yourself, this time. Last time it was a bitch for the staff to clean and I’d really like to not hear about it again.” 

Michael’s expression turned blank again. “I have no clue what you’re talking about Raphael, but I assure you, there will be no mess.” 

“There better not be,” Raphael warned. 

Michael watched his assistant leave before turning back into his office, going around his desk. On his way, he gave Lucifer’s ass a firm slap. 

Lucifer yelped and glared at Michael. “What the hell was that?” 

“That,” Michael said, tucking himself neatly back into his chair and looking at his computer, “was for scaring off my assistant and for being a general pain in my ass.” 

“I thought you were the pain in my ass, literally,” Lucifer said cheekily. 

“Only if you don’t want me to open you up,” Michael said absently. 

“I meant the spanking.” 

“You deserve those spankings, and you love them, and if you try denying it, might I remind you that just the other night you were begging like a cheap whore for more while you were bent over my knee for being a sassy, bossy little brat of a submissive.” 

Lucifer opened his mouth to argue, then closed it with a huff. “Not fair.” 

"I literally argue with people professionally, it’s totally fair," Michael said breezily.     
"I thought you just intimidated them into telling the truth." Lucifer smirked. 

“That’s your job,” Michael said, replying to an email, tongue stuck between his teeth as he concentrated on using professional language. 

"No, sonny boy, I just slap the cuffs on them and cite Miranda all day."

Michael’s face slid once more into that blank expression. “What did you just call me?” He asked softly. 

“Sonny boy,” Lucifer grinned. 

“I have half a mind,” Michael said calmly, “to handcuff your hands behind your back and beat your ass with that baton on your belt.” 

Lucifer smirked, licking his lips. “Really? Is that all you want to do to me, sonny boy? Or is there more you want to do to me?” 

Michael rolled out his neck before starting to undo the dark blue tie on his neck. 

“The handcuffs are on my belt, sonny boy,” Lucifer drawled, watching Michael hungrily. “I think my arms would be able to beat a measly piece of silk.” 

“This isn’t for your hands,” Michael said, stripping his tie off and placing it on the desk in between them. 

“Oh?” Lucifer hummed, looking at the dark blue fabric with interest, ignoring Michael stripping off his suit jacket and rolling the stark white sleeves up his forearms. “Then what’s it going to be used for, sonny? Cock ring? Don’t know how tight that’d be. I think I’d still end up cumming all over it. I’ve heard cum’s a bitch to get outta silk, Mikey.” 

Michael’s long, thick fingers curled around Lucifer’s chin, forcing his face to look up into that expressionless face. “If you need to stop,” Michael stated. “Snap three times. Understand?” 

“Sure, Mikey, why-mmphf!” 

In movements that Lucifer didn’t think were possible, Michael had grabbed the tie off of his desk and shoved it into Lucifer’s mouth, tying it off in the back tightly. 

Michael raised Lucifer’s face again, seeing the shock, surprise, and sparked arousal in his ice blue eyes. “Good,” Michael purred. “I don’t have to hear you yap, and this will keep your noises down.” Smirking, he grabbed dirty blond hair and yanked Lucifer’s head down, gently slamming it onto his desk. “Stay there,” Michael ordered. 

Lucifer was trying to talk through the silk. No doubt insulting Michael, and Michael couldn’t care less as he leaned in to whisper, “be thankful it’s your baton that your ass is getting beat with, and not my belt, little magpie.” 

Lucifer huffed impatiently, rolling his eyes, but Michael ignored it, walking over to his office door and locking it while making sure that the blinds were covering the little door window. He walked back over to Lucifer and unclipped the handcuffs from his belt.

“You know,” Michael said casually as he yanked one arm, then the other behind Lucifer’s back and cuffing them, “I would’ve let you off a bit more lightly had you not started calling me sonny boy. But not only did you call me that once, you kept calling me it.” 

Lucifer grunted and mumbled something into the gag. 

“So here we are,” Michael said calmly, as he began removing everything else from Lucifer’s belt and setting it on the far side of the desk, away from Lucifer. He wasn’t about to have any accidents. Taser, gun, radio, keys, ammo. . . nearly twenty pounds of equipment went to the side. The only thing that didn’t was the baton, which Michael set near Lucifer’s face. 

Lucifer groaned and was squirming, intentionally making Michael’s life a lot harder than it necessarily needed to be. 

“If you don’t stop moving this instant,” Michael hissed into Lucifer’s ear, punctuating it with a harsh bite, “I’m just going to beat your ass raw and not let you cum at all tonight. I shouldn’t let you in here, anyways. You know. The cleaning, and putting up with Raphael’s bitching. You haven’t been good enough for me to put up with Raphael’s bitching.” 

Lucifer growled, as if to protest against this, but it fell upon deaf ears as Michael slid Lucifer’s belt off of him. He then undid the button and zipper on Lucifer’s pants and shoved them down. 

“Naughty, naughty, Officer,” Michael breathed, rocking his suit pants against Lucifer’s bare ass. Lucifer groaned, trying to rock back against Michael. 

“No, no, little magpie,” Michael admonished. “You don’t get to get off. Not right now. Remember? You haven’t been good enough to warrant me listening to someone else bitch about your mess.” 

Lucifer made a noise that sounded like a whine, but Michael wasn’t having any of it from his bratty submissive. Nothing was going to garner his sympathy, except for making Lucifer’s ass red. 

He picked up the baton, making sure that Lucifer saw him do it. “Nonverbal,” Michael commanded. 

Lucifer snapped three times. 

“Good,” Michael praised, leaning over and kissing the exposed skin on the back of Lucifer’s neck before standing up and observing Lucifer’s rear. He then smacked it hard with the baton. 

The sound echoed in the small room, as did Lucifer’s muffled cry from behind his makeshift gag. Michael didn’t hesitate to keep smacking Lucifer’s ass, nor did he give Lucifer much of a break. He just tried to make sure not to strike the same spot twice. 

The noises pouring out of Lucifer’s mouth were beautiful, even if they were muffled by the silk tie stuffed in his mouth. The little gasps, moans, and whimpers warmed Michael’s heart as he heard them with each crack of the baton. 

“You love this, don’t you, my little magpie?” Michael purred, stopping his assault on Lucifer’s ass. 

Lucifer moaned weakly, gasping as Michael’s hot hands caressed his burning, welted ass. There had been tears. Michael expected that. He wiped them away with a gentle thumb as he inspected the damage he left behind. 

“Did my little magpie learn his lesson?” Michael murmured. 

There was a twinkle in Lucifer’s tired eyes, and he blinked slowly, whimpering as he shifted and his ass came in contact with the fabric of Michael’s pants. 

“I’m going to say yes, for now,” Michael chuckled, kissing the spot under Lucifer’s ear. He undid the cuffs and gently removed the silk tie from Lucifer’s mouth. It was completely soaked in Lucifer’s saliva.

“Not gonna fuck me?” he asked sloppily, groaning as he tried to stand upright. Michael caught him as he fell. 

“You think you could handle me pounding your tight little ass right now?” Michael chuckled as he guided Lucifer to a soft chair, sitting him down on it. 

“Mikey, it hurts,” Lucifer whined, squirming. 

“No fucking shit,” Michael said, pointing to the baton. “I just fucking beat your ass nearly forty times with that. Of course your ass is going to hurt. You deserved it.” 

Lucifer grinned lazily. “That I did,” he hummed. 

Michael rolled his eyes, walking over to the water cooler in his office and pouring Lucifer a cup of water. “Drink,” he commanded. 

“Bossy,” Lucifer grumbled, but he did as he was told. 

“I’m bossy for your own good,” Michael chided. “Besides, you like it.” 

Lucifer smiled. “I do.” 

They sat in silence for a bit before Michael’s phone rang. Michael rolled his eyes and answered it. “Michael Shurely. Yes. Yes, of course. Yes, thank you.” He hung up and groaned. 

“Mr. Masters still giving you a hard time?” Lucifer asked sympathetically. 

“I am going to wring that bastard’s neck myself. He wants an extension. I have a 9 AM court hearing for this,” Michael moaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“I can make him disappear,” Lucifer offered. 

“ _ No. _ ” 

“C’mon, Mike,” Lucifer pouted. “He’s a pain in your ass, and you’ve been trying to get him in jail for, what? Literal years?” 

Michael sighed. “If he manages to worm his way out of this conviction,” he told Lucifer. “Which I  _ highly  _ doubt. Dick Roman’s gone, and I don’t think his new lawyer is up to snuff. He’ll be in prison, for good this time.” 

“If you’re sure,” Lucifer said. 

“I am,” Michael said. 

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr! @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell 
> 
> Don't forget to check out @talkmagically on tumblr as well!!
> 
> Comments and Kudos are Shiny!!


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